Happy VD Day today. Or “Singles Awareness” day. What have you, think of February 14th as any other day. For me, it is the day I am supposed to pay my credit card bill. Supposed to.
Valentines day has always been an interesting event for me. More so because I have never really had anyone to share it with until last year. Every year before that I had sat at home during the day, wishing and hoping for that one right person to share that experience with.In fact I would get so fed up I would start thinking about how much more everyone else had. This song sums up my feelings pretty well. The one time I did have someone to share Valentines day with before the love of my life it was terrible. She ended up working till 1 in the morning and we ate burnt pizza from the oven. Awful.
But like I said, that was before I met the love of my life. The one that I melt for and can’t wait to talk to everyday. Before I had romanticized Valentines day as something that was meant to be this huge over the top experience. That in proper Ted Mosbey, How I Met Your Mother style, I was supposed to make this elaborate and overtly complex event to show my affection for the person that I love. I was supposed to have candles, and wine, and the whole 9 yards. I put so much pressure on myself to be “romantic” that I would wind up in a fit of anxiety trying to figure out what to do.
Being out of work hasn’t helped much either. Because I have $10 to my name for tonight I feel like I can’t give that special moment that she expects or deserves. But when I was thinking about today, I realized that as nice as Valentines is and a special night committed to giving people time to love, I don’t really feel the need to make it elaborately special. Hear me out, Valentines Day is about love in all forms. I think that showing a large display of love is great, but when you find the right person, I mean REALLY find the right person, I think that Valentines day becomes less about elaborate visuals of love and more about the intrinsic and intimate showing and caring of love. It becomes about being able to open up and stare into your loves eyes for hours without a word. To share a single moment of February 14th where the world, your expectations of the night, and all the troubles around you disappear They just dissolve away and your love is shared and reciprocated.
Relationships and love are great when you can share very elaborate plans and events. But if living like a pauper has taught my anything, love means so much more than gifts and cars. So for me, I don’t want to feel the need to be elaborate on Valentines day. I just want to be able to take the time to really share a moment of love. A moment where I can let go and just realize that the universe has set me on the right path with the right person. And for one moment I can be happy and know that I am experiencing true love.
*Note: I still will actually carry a boombox to her work today, in a trench coat and play our song. I mean let’s be real here. Once a hopeless romantic, ALWAYS a hopeless romantic.