Well, this is indeed a new year. Well, not technically. For the earth, yes, but for you, it will be another Thursday night. Actually, this new years will pry be a disappointment like most New Years. I am not a pessimist I am just stating the fact that New Year’s is always better in your head.
Think about it, technically a new year would be when you were born. Because the day you were born is the first day you were aware of time and existence. Therefore, your birthday should be your New Years!
The reason why I am bringing this up is because as we head in 2016 I want to try and change my prerogative on the world and start to take more control over my life. For far too long I have lived in a passive consumer role in my life and not taking charge. I have let others dictate my decisions, my interests, and my routines. I have not been responsible for a lot of things in my life. As such, I have gone with the flow and never really made any strides. Am I a better person than I was last year? Sure. could I be an even better person had I “chosen myself” versus just being ambient and letting the world decide my fate? Yes.
I have been reading an insane amount of books this year. Mostly non-fiction and entrepreneur based, and mostly on how to take control of my life. There have been two major things that I have noticed come up from all of this reading:
- Surround yourself with like-minded people that will challenge your growth and support you becoming the best version of you
- Choose yourself and pursue things that will make you happy and remove or delegate things that don’t. That way no energy is wasted on frustration, complaining or failing.
Looking back on 2015 and reading through my journal I have found myself to be most involved in self-thought and complaining. Complaining about work my love life, my endeavors, and my tribulations. Although I do have some of my accomplishments listed, most of the time was spent in a solitary and negative place. When I think about what I did vs. what I could have been I realize that this negative and solitary process I went through in 2015 has what held me from reaching that next level. It kept me in a state of ambivalence and complacency. Even though I had read all of these books of both Superstar business people and hard working business acumen, I never really took those lessons to heart and turned those lessons into “actionable content.”
Looking forward to 2016
For the new year, I know that my number one goal I have is to start taking action on the reflections and successes that I have had in 2015. Instead of just letting things be one time events, I want to build upon the strengths that I have actively achieved. To do this is going to take something more of me than I have ever done. Something that has been so difficult. Something that I never in a million years understood or recognized the importance of.
I need to ask for help
It was widely popularized with our generation of in-betweeners (Gen X and Gen Y) that to flesh out our own path and success we needed to go at it alone. We popularized lone warriors and Ronin’s who carved out their own path with little forethought but tons of action risking family and friends for the sake of finding their true calling. All of their success came from hard work and learning everything themselves.
Or so I believed.
My personal values were built upon this precipice of lone warriors out there fighting the good fight. Protecting the innocent and rolling and out of people’s lives. The Doctor, The Man With No Name, Han Solo, Peter Venkman, Wolverine, Ned from Pushing Daisies, all of these characters I saw as strong men archetypes who knew everything and could handle the struggle alone.
As I grow older and not that much wiser, I know that I am starting to learn the difference between these Archetypes and real heroes. I am starting to discern that what makes these characters great is not their chevre or their tenacity but it’s more the people that they surround themselves with. For all of the great characters out there, there was always someone there with them. Someone supporting them, giving them advice and pushing them to be better.
I had always misunderstood what it meant to be the best you can be. It is not just you actively pushing for that, but it’s also having support there to push you and assist you when you couldn’t do it yourself.
Rule of 33%
There has been a “thing” floating around for a while now in the blogosphere called the rule of 33%. IT basically states that 33% of your time should be spent with somebody below you that you can teach, somebody at the same level as you that you can process with, and somebody above you that you can learn from.
Essentially by splitting up your time like this, you can process things both by learning and teaching as well as see life from multiple perspectives. Instead of just going at it alone and getting caught in your own thoughts you can become inspired by those above you and feel empowered by helping those move up.
The true definition of Happiness in 2015 is feeling valued
I want 2016 the year to be where I finally feel valued. Yes valued by other people for my contributions, but more importantly valued for myself. I want to be able to feel like the things I am doing during the day make me feel inspired, alive, and that I am contributing to my own personal well being. I want everything I do to be a “hell yeah” instead of a “meh.” I want to be able to direct my direction in life. To move forward and continually improve on the actions that I take.
2016 is going to be a different year for me. Going into this fake passage of time I have come to learn and try to take everything that I have learned from the last year to improve and be better.
2016 is the year I Choose Myself and be the James that I want to be. Not the James that the world is carving out to be me.